Exposure

Fiction/Erotic

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This is more than just smut, it's an exploration on what it would feel like to believe you’re worthy of being seen as art. If you just want the smut you can skip to part 5. I won’t judge you, this is a long tense ride.

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Pt 1-

The phone screen glows

As he snores next to me

Lighting up my face

Blood floods my cheeks

Already flushed

From your words

That involuntary smile

I stifle for him

But it shines for you

And I’ve never seen you

Heard your voice

I don’t need it

Your stories are enough

They echo all the lives

I wish I had lived

But that wasn’t enough

I need the ones

Meant just for me

The inside jokes

Experiences we shouldn’t share

There are rules

I’ve never wanted to break them before

But when you say those things

It makes me question them

Push farther

Right on the edge

I slip out of bed

Socked feet slide on wood floors

Into the shower

Like the spray of it

Could clean you from my mind

It doesn’t

Seeing my nakedness now

I wonder how you’d view it

Behind your camera lens

Telling me how to pose

Kneel for you

As water beats my face

It’s uncomfortable

I want to turn away

But I pretend

You’ve told me not to

The cold tile

Makes me want to jump

When my knees hit it

But you’d say

I can take it

You’d want me to stay still

To get the perfect shot

I haven’t even touched myself

And yet

My thighs tremble

Begging for more commands

Maybe the problem

My body can’t tell

What’s fantasy

And what’s happening

My fingers finally find it

The slickery warmth

Not washed away by the spray

So sensitive and open

A breath of touch

Pulsing like a heartbeat

You’d appreciate

The way my flush spreads

Starting at my chest

Up into my face

Photographable evidence

Of my desire

Then I go back to him

Step a cold dripping foot

Out of the shower

This isn’t me

Hiding things

Sneaking out of bed

He grumbles awake when I sit down

Finding me naked

A slow sleepy smile

As he pulls me close

And I confess

In a quiet voice

I have a fantasy

I don’t think he’ll like

When he responds

It’s soft and searching

Just tell him

And I do

Straddling his lap

Whispering the details

Into his ear

Inhaling the familiar scent

That never fails to comfort

When I’m done he pulls me back

Looks into my eyes

For a beat too long

Before reassuring me

“Your fantasies don’t scare me.”

I feel like fainting

With relief

That’s all it is

A fantasy

An urge

To be seen as a muse

He picks up his phone

All traces of sleep

Gone from his face

Pulls up the camera

Pt 2-

He’s acting odd this morning

Took my phone off the charger

Before I even got up

It set my stomach

Into churning

Did he lie

About being fine with it?

Is he reading everything

Because he doesn’t believe me?

Will he give me the phone back

Or block you?

My teeth catch

The edge of one nail

As I try to pull it off

A punishment for existing

But he smiles

When I enter the kitchen

Hands me a hot cup

Of perfectly balanced coffee

And sets my phone down

In my spot

I go to sit down

But he grabs the back of my hair

A sharp delicious pull

Guides my mouth to his

The kiss is incinerating

My hips automatically push

Into his

Moaning when his tongue

Traces my bottom lip

Then he just pulls away

Back to his side of the table

Unbothered

I’m dumbstruck

Standing there

Mouth tingling

Wetness starting

Deep inside me

I forget what I was worrying about

He motions to sit down

I realize I’m still standing

Coming down

Scramble and plop into my seat

I stare at the phone

Resist the urge to check

Right in front of him

Sip my coffee

Like it’s a totally normal day

Head spinning

He glances between my face

And the phone

Before sighing

And walking out of the room

I wait a whole 2 seconds

To open our messages

I don’t want him to know

How nervous this makes me

He’s never taken my phone before

My chest loosens

In relief

To see you’re not blocked

All our messages are still there

But there are new ones

Back and forth

Between you

And him

All deleted

Pt 3-

He doesn’t give me much time

To react to that

Sets our toy bag

On the table in front of me

Repacked and tied closed

Along with his travel backpack

A bag full of my clothes

And a small stack of my books

The steamy ones

He doesn’t have to say

“We’re taking a trip”

The implication is clear

He’s not one for useless words

Instead he tells me to get dressed

I find clothes laid out for me

He knew I’d have anxiety

About choosing an outfit

For an unknown location

It’s cute

A long skirt

And blouse

Lacy bra

But no panties

I know he didn’t forget them

He must want me soaked

When we get

Wherever we’re going

The car ride is uneventful

Hours pass by

And he talks like normal

I read and tell him about the scenes

Squirming in my seat

He stops suddenly

At a sex shop

On the highway

Tells me to stay

Comes back with an unmarked bag

I’m burning to ask

To at least message you

But I know it’d be useless

I let my mind turn over the possibilities

All of them improbable

It’s a useless activity

But I can’t help it

It takes half the day

But I know we’re getting close

He puts his hand

On my thigh

Pulls my legs apart

Just a little bit

Knowing what that’ll do

My breath hitches

My chest starts to redden

And he just chuckles

Finally he pulls into the parking lot

Of an abandoned warehouse

I grind my teeth

Shoot him a questioning glance

This seems shady

But I trust him

He wouldn’t put me

In a dangerous situation

And he’s always carrying

I take a calming breath

He just waits

Until I’m ready

Then he gets out of the car

Gestures for me to follow

Pt 4-

The gravel crunches so loudly

My legs feel stiff

The shivers start

In my stomach

Like they always do

But I move forward

He gives me a reassuring look

Already knowing

And takes my hand

Anchoring me

Silently telling me

It’ll be okay

I fight the response I want to give

That I don’t want to go in there

I never want to go

Somewhere I haven’t been

But at the same time

I do

I’m so curious

Open to trying anything

He wants me to

I don’t dig in my heels

But I walk slower

And he waits

One hand on the door handle

A question in his eyes

Am I ready?

Not really

But I nod

And gulp

Adjust and re-adjust my skirt

Pull my blouse down

He takes both of my hands

In his

To stop my fidgeting

Guides the way inside

My eyes take in everything

The chipped paint

Concrete walls

Piles of debris

He just keeps walking

Like he knows exactly

Where to go

Finally he opens another door

It’s warmly lit inside

Piles of pretty fabric

Artfully placed on the floor

Tapestries hung on the walls

Backdrops with different scenes

A velvet bench

And a bed

In the middle of the room

Huge sturdy wood frame

Ropes already tied to every post

I know immediately

It’s a photography studio

He guides me

To sit on the bench

And sits with me

Never letting go

Of my hand

I force my breath to slow

Wrapping my head around it

When I can speak calmly I do

“So, who’s taking the pictures?”

There’s an amused look

In his lightning blue eyes

“I think you know.”

The door opens

And you walk in

Pt 5-

I’ve never seen you before

But there’s no one else

It could be

I want to examine you

Drink up your image with my eyes

This mysterious man

I’ve been messaging with

Against my better judgment

But I don’t

Only a glance

Before I cast my eyes down

As my husband talks to you

I examine your shoes

Well-worn grey sneakers

Listen to your voice

It’s the kind made for radio

Bouncing off the narrow walls

Completely filling the room

I want you to tell me exactly what to do

With that voice

Call me a good girl

When I listen

A dirty slut

When I don’t

The thought makes me blush

As if you could read my mind

Embarrassed at thinking

Like that

Right in front of you

But of course he sees it

And there’s a smile in his voice

When he addresses me

“Ashley, tell our friend why we’re here.”

Oh shit

My mind trips

On “Ashley”

It’s not my name

It’s a title

For our secrets

It lets me know

How much of myself

I’m allowed to give

I don’t know

How to answer

Brain blank

He lifts my chin

With one finger

I have to look

Directly at you

Dark green eyes

Lightly creased

Five o’clock shadow

A posture that says

You know what you’re doing

You own this space

And your eyes

Are drinking me up

Taking every detail in

Cataloging it

Easy to forget

It’s your first time seeing me too

And I’m the one

Who knows you

Not him

I don’t have to fear this

It’s exactly what I wanted

But I never knew how to ask

He’s giving away

Viewing rights

Maybe more

But I can’t go there

Not yet

“Ummm”

I trail off

But you both wait

So patiently

Letting me adjust

Come into myself

To my persona

“I want to be used

In your art

Umm take pictures

Of me?”

Yeah that was super smooth

He looks amused

He knew this would happen

But you don’t

Your look is gentle

As if a simple change

In your expression

Would spook me

“Of course,

It’s nice to meet you

In person Ashes.”

I can smile at that

It’s a line I know how to answer

“It’s nice to meet you too”

It’s the first time

You’ve seen my smile

My cupid bow lips

Revealing sharp canines

I can tell you’re watching my mouth now

Not with hunger

But reverence

The way you see

The female body

As holy

Is what struck me so much

I wanted to be seen

Just like that

As majestically female

I can see it

In other woman

I feel honored

Just to touch their skin

But I lose it

When it comes to me

But I don’t have to be me

Not right now

I can be Ashley

What would it take

To feel worthy

Of being seen?

This feels like a step

Towards that

He turns toward me

He’s been watching my reactions

“Ready to get started?”

He’s not rushing me

He knows how I won’t be comfortable

Until we start

I lock eyes with you

And nod

Pt 6-

You tell him where to stand

Behind you and to the side

As you position me

I can see the power shift

This is your space

Your speciality

You need to be in control

And he doesn’t fight it

Just does as you say

Giving me his full attention

He isn’t looking at me the same way you do

But watching for my cues

My body language shifting

Or facial expression changing

Would signal my displeasure

Far before I voiced it

He’s here to be my voice

If I need it

Always my protector

We start in the clothes I’m wearing

I didn’t even think to wear makeup

And my hair is natural too

Dark brown natural waves

Falling to my waist

You tell me to face the light

Naturally streaming

Through the open window

I don’t have to look at either of you

Focus on the way the dust motes twirl

Trapped in the sunlight

But I can’t forget I’m being watched

My skin still feels

Like I’m burning

In a nice way

You tell me to change my position

A few different times

I get the sense that these

Are just to warm me up

Then you hand me different clothes

And tell me to change

I look to him

For permission

And he nods

I can’t do this

Facing you

Turn away

Biting my lip

Drop the skirt first

My ass is the sexiest part of me

Full and round

Even with my thin waist

I should be confident

Bare like this

I try to be

But don’t waste time

Getting the rest of it off

The material I slip over my head

Is shimmering and silky

A deep gold

Slits starting at the hips

Really it doesn’t cover anything

And it’s sheer

Completely see through

In this light

I can see my nipples

Hardened into points

Just from being viewed

My thighs are framed by the fabric

Skin tight

Until it flows

At the knees

And I decide

I look like a sexy

Greek goddess

Worthy of being viewed

I finally turn around

To watch both of your reactions

He looks hungry now

You just look proud

Like you know how hard this is

And you know I chose to do it anyway

Except now

I feel like art

When you arrange me

With your commands

I can imagine what I look like

Facing away

But looking back

Leaning back

But lifting my hips

I’m so exposed

My body reacts

Nerves turning to liquid fire

Starting at my core

Then I can feel it

Slick on my thighs

You’re putting me

In interesting positions

Bending over

Touching the floor

In front of me

I can hear my breathing

But I can’t see you

Either of you

Your voice is taking on a rougher edge

Commands getting more degrading

I fight the urge

To say “yes, sir.”

I don’t know if I’m allowed

On my knees

In front of the bed

Hands threaded

Behind my head

Looking straight into the camera

“This is perfect

You’re being such

A good girl.”

The moan is involuntary

I fight the urge

To clamp a hand over my mouth

Fuck my over-responsiveness

I had finally gotten rid of my blush

But blood floods again

Creeping over my chest

Still I don’t move

I look at him

But his posture doesn’t change

Only yours does

You walk towards me

A satisfied smile

Playing on your lips

Your hand fists my hair

Pulling my head back

“Say, “thank you, sir.”

I gasp in surprise

Another sound

Escaping my throat

“Thank you, sir.”

Pt 7-

You wrap my arms

In blood red ribbons

Intricately laced

It looks beautiful

But it’s tight and restraining

In a way that makes it

Hard to sit still

He can see my need

And he looks to you

For permission

To intrude on this scene

Give me what I need

Your slight head shake

Says “not yet.”

It’s your hand

That circles my throat

Applying a light pressure

Capturing me in film

And then releasing

My breathlessness

Has little to do

With lack of oxygen

You press your thumb

Against my bottom lip

The camera in my face

My eyes simmering

With heat

I wait for the click

Before sucking you

Into my mouth

Pushing the roughness

Of my tongue

Biting down with my teeth

Enough to sting

Before releasing

You wipe my saliva

Over my mouth

And I smile

Flashing teeth

One of your fingers trails

Over my neck and down

Between my breasts

Tracing my flushed skin

Eliciting another moan

I can see what you’re doing

Painting my skin with red

As if with a brush

“So fucking beautiful.”

Every touch has a purpose

Another way to show me

I was always art

You stop at my waistline

Pull away

I can’t help the whine

In my throat

That makes you grin

Pull one side of the ribbon

It all unfurls

With a flourish

“Kneel”

“Yes, Sir.”

I drop down

Eager and expectant

But you turn away

Rummage through the bags

He brought

Pulling out lacy things

Making a sound

Of dissatisfaction

Before rummaging again

Dropping the pile

Next to my knees

“Change”

I replace the flowy material

With royal blue straps

That brings out the blue in my eyes

Covering and pushing

My breasts together

An X across my stomach

Ending in a skirt

That covers half my ass

This is an outfit

Meant to be ruined

Pt 8-

When I’m done

You drop to your knees

In front of me

Pick up one foot

And slide more lace

Up my legs

Your fingers

Brush my ass

Pulling panties

In place

Just a little too hard

The first contact

To my swollen flesh

I gasp

Nearly fall

More ropes

The rough kind

That dig in

When my hands are tied

Above my head

Sat down

On the velvet bench

You call him over

To strip

And kneel in front of me

Your hands

Spread my legs

While he gives

Fingers trailing

Across wet lace

My hips buck

But you push me back

“Stay still.”

I want to obey

But it takes everything

Muscles tighten

Bite my lip

He pulls the panties

To the side

Playing by the rules

Of your game

Just his breath

Makes me squeal

His tongue

Finally brushing

I’m screaming

Fighting against

The restraints

High pitched

Whining

“Fuck

Fuck

Please”

I can’t

I come

Undone

You record

My need

Glistening

In his beard

Soaking the seat

Glazed eyes

Billowing chest

Shaking thighs

He doesn’t let me come down

Pushes a plug

Against my tightest hole

Slick with me

Knowing I’ll need the pressure

Moving to the side

So you can capture it all

The way I’ve bloomed

Soaked and still quivering

You have a silent discussion

Before I’m moved

To the bed

On my back

Legs tied

To the posts

Art isn’t clean

It’s messy

Wrecked

Feral

I’m all of those things

As he fills me

You watch

Circling

Like a predator

Getting angles

Kneeling by my head

Whispering in my ear

You know

What I want

“Beautiful

Fucking

Slut

Getting off

On being watched

With your

Tight holes

Filled”

I can’t

Stay still

Or quiet

But I need

To hear

You drop your voice

Barely audible

“I know

You wish

It was me.”

I come undone

Hips arching

Gripping

Soaking his cock

He doesn’t stop

But I need

More

I need to speak

Fuck

I

Deep breaths

One rush

“Wait”

Everything stops

Stills

Without hesitation

You’re both listening

I lock eyes

With you

“ I want

To taste you.”

I look at him

The please

On my face

And he nods

No time wasted

Pants dropped

Your cock springs

Painfully hard

I don’t want soft

You fist my hair

Don’t give me time

To adjust

Before you’re filling my throat

Saliva dripping

Down my chin

As you thrust

Every hole filled

No thoughts

Just the push

Pull

Again

Guttural sounds

It feels like

Forever

But I don’t want it

To end

He speeds up

You match it

You both paint me

Like the canvas

I always was